Blind or Invisible

I’M HERE! Don’t you see me!

Words we often cry to ourselves when we need validation that what we’re feeling is real, or okay, or worth the other person’s attention.

And the questions that follow, 9 times out of 10 are; Are you blind? I’m right in front of you, how can you not see me? OR Am I just invisible to you?

Most of the time it’s hard to figure out if the person you’re seeking validation from simply doesn’t care enough and comes across blind. Or you’ve screamed your feelings AT them so many times that they’ve become numb to it all.

Would this then still make them blind or are you the blind one. Perhaps it’s you that’s blind to their feelings because you’re so caught up in yours you can’t acknowledge anyone else might have felt some kind of way today too.

So who is actually blind, both of you or neither?

On the other hand, you could just be invisible so no-one knows you’re there or even real. Everyday people walking by bump into you, talk over you or look through you.

Would that not technically mean that you’re invisible?

So which is it blind or invisible?

Take a moment and think about those times when you achieved a goal that was so significant to you. You felt proud to share it with friends, family, and maybe even co-workers who knew about it.

You're so excited to tell them the news, but the reaction you get is not quite what you wanted or expected and it makes you want to scream cry, like a child that was told they can’t have ice-cream for breakfast.

Your chest hurts and you can’t catch your breath, you’re that upset right now.

“I WORKED SO FUCKING HARD! WHAT ARE YOU BLIND, LOOK AT MY ACHIEVEMENT!”

And while you’re screaming those words, the voice in your head sobs hopelessly saying; “Why don’t you see me, why can’t you see how hard this was for me, why am I so invisible to you?”

Now scroll up and focus on the part that says ‘the reaction you get is not quite what you wanted or expected’. See, this sentence is the root of the problem.

Society teaches us to expect things from others, which in most cases are just fucking impossible expectations to reach.

You know how you hate when people say those words to you “I expected better from you or I expect you to know better”. Firstly. No! Just because someone expects something doesn’t mean you have to break your back trying to achieve it or reach THEIR goals.

This makes you WANT a specific reaction from friends, family or co-workers because that is how you EXPECT people to react to your news since you worked so fucking hard to complete it. Just No! Stop that shit, it’s not helping anyone!

Because just look at yourself, you’ve completed their goal, they’ve not given you the reaction you wanted and now who is sitting with their head in their hands crying asking; “Are you blind or Am I invisible?”

Why do we need others to see us fly or fail? Why do we need people to “see” us?

Because that bullshit is what society teaches us.

Society teaches kids from a young age on those programs they watch if you give a teacher 10/10 for this test, you’ll get A STAR. A STAR! One, just one star…

Problem is, that teacher wants to give 1000 stars for the purple sunshine picture drawn but they’re also shackled by a boss or a government, that only allows them a certain budget per child. This is why most teachers that care are broke because they use their hard earned peanuts to give their kids a thousand stickers.

So the kid that’s stuck with the moron that doesn’t care and "this is just a paycheck", thinks to get more stars I need to push myself really hard. This is a child that should play and enjoy being a kid before the crushing reality of being a grownup in this broken world takes over. That kid stuck with the idiot that doesn’t care is now going to break themselves for A STAR. Just one star. That’s messed up.

Don’t get things twisted I’m not saying spoil your kids and reward them for everything mundane with a star or any other reward. My point is that the reward should match the effort given and not the rules stipulated.

Same thing happens in the workplace but with salary. You’re so invisible to your boss or too scared to tell your boss they made a mistake. It eats at you, like slowly being poisoned by your ability to ALLOW people to not see your worth.

What’s worse is struggling with mental illness on top of all this nonsense.

If I conform and behave “like a person” people will accept me and “see” me.

There is such a negative connotation on mental illness that people simple don’t acknowledge you’re a sufferer, so your illness becomes invisible (unless of course you do something drastic, then the entire world has a comment about “how they knew something was wrong or off”, such BULLSHIT!) I digress...

Besides the people looking to be seen themselves (it’s a vicious cycle), spouting nonsense for attention.

Often most people are just not educated enough on mental illness to understand. Which makes them blind to how certain things they say make you feel, even though you just keep smiling after they’ve said it. Since you would like to appear normal and be accepted in that specific social circle...yip the cycle continues.

So ask yourself, why do you want to scream cry at people and ask if they’re blind?

Why do you feel invisible?

Why do we allow society to teach our kids that doing a thousand things “right” or “perfect” will produce a second-rate reward thought up by a governed system of even more people who are looking to be seen.

But one wrong move or word and all that effort is shot to shit and that crappy reward is taken away, anyway? Perhaps this is why kids just rebel and “stay naughty”.

NOBODY SEES THEM EITHER!

Kids need to be taught that they don’t need validation from anyone for anything and that they are enough!

You as a grownup were not given the opportunities that your kid, nieces, nephews or even friends’ kids are given. so, "you should know better" right?

Wrong! - you should react better! Kids throw tantrums for attention, grownups scream and shout! Everyone is trying to be seen...

So then should this, "I’M HERE! Don’t you see me!", not be said in a mirror and not a spouse, friend or colleague that is also struggling to be seen?

And if the simple answer is that you cant say it in the mirror then you’ve already accepted that you are painfully blind to yourself.

Does that not mean your invisibility is a choice?

Because the only person who needs to see you...is you.